Tag: christianity

The Wait

Katy MordkaLeave a comment

When I quit my job last year I really thought by the fall, maybe end of 2025, I would have the “what’s next” part figured out.

I’ve applied for jobs and there were some strong contenders in there but no yeses yet. (And some of those opportunities, I am still not quite over.) But, if I say I’m going to trust God to guide me to what is best, I need to trust him with all of it.

I would tell people last year and even this year that I was holding my hands open and letting Him guide me but now I’m wondering if I started to close them. It wasn’t an intentional thing, maybe just out of frustration or disappointment? And it isn’t that I don’t trust Him; I just didn’t make the conscious, consistent choice to keep holding them open. It’s a poor comparison but I think of Moses holding his hands up during battle (Exodus 17). “When Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, but whenever his put his had down, Amalek prevailed” (Exodus 17:11). It took Aaron and Hur to support Moses’s hands when he got tired. Maybe I needed someone to help remind me to hold my hands open. Certainly I am capable of holding them open on my own but I needed someone to remind me not to let them slowly close.

So, I decide again today to hold my hands open, waiting for the Lord to work on my behalf. I am confident he is already working in ways I am unable to see. I will remain in this waiting room, even though the air is starting to get stale and I’ve heard the same songs a million times on repeat, but with a renewed sense that there is purpose here and maybe I am missing it. I’ll keep asking, keep seeking, and keep discovering…after all, isn’t there always something to discover?

Katy MordkaLeave a comment

When I look back on the 2025, there’s a lot. There were a lot of moments of joy and celebration and there were also moments of heartbreak. The good ones are easy to reflect on, easy to show gratitude for- kids thriving and doing what they are meant to do, family time, friends that gather around, time with Adam, vacations and just every day moments of joy- those are easy because they are wrapped up in the good stuff.

The moments of heartbreak are more difficult to reflect on. I don’t really want to remember the heartbreak and the moments where I thought I wouldn’t get back up. I don’t want to remember the hurt and I definitely don’t want to be thankful for the hard. At the end of the school year, when I was asked over and over (and over and over) what was next for me, I didn’t know. I didn’t have an answer for those people but I did think I would have it figured out by now. I truly thought I would have some job that filled me with purpose, that I was passionate about; but not yet.

In the moments where I get frustrated or anxious that things haven’t gone like I thought, I try to remind myself that this time I have is a gift. It has given me space to drink my coffee at a slower pace and really read my Bible. I have time to sit and think and reflect, and I don’t want to waste that. I guess what I’m saying, is that as hard as the hard has been, I am thankful for it. I wouldn’t have the perspective I have today without it. I wouldn’t be able to pray the way I do today, without it. Nothing would be the same. There is nothing wasted with God and I am seeing that more and more.

So what’s next? I am not completely sure. I have ideas of what I think would be great but I am holding my hands open just wanting to go where God wants me. For now, I will give thanks for the sweet moments and the hard moments. (I will need to be reminded to give thanks for the hard moments by tomorrow, I’m sure.) I have no clue where you are with gratitude or the moments in your life but I pray that you can see the bigger picture God has for you and those around you. If you are in the hard, I pray that you feel held and comforted. If you are in the sweet, I pray that you can give thanks for those moments. I pray that all of us can see the Lord’s fingerprints on our lives today.