There are all these great songs about summer (cue DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince as well as Bryan Adams and a whole host of other artists) but I’m not sure any of them capture my thoughts as a stay at home summer mom.
Because as excited as I am that my kids are home for the summer and we have no homework and no practice and half the schedule we did weeks ago, there is a little part of me that dreads it. My thoughts go something like this; I am not sure if I am going to make it through the summer with my kids home. I am not sure if we are all going to survive. I am not sure I will do much more than fail all summer long. I am not sure if I will be fun enough.
And, what about taking time for myself? I need my space and my alone time. I want to work out. I feel better when I do. But I am also the person that feels like I am a stay at home mom to be a mom, and I should be available every minute for my kids. It’s kind of like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. “Be with your kids.” “Take care of yourself.” I have a lot of those moments in my life.
What is the happy medium? Do I take the time to work out? Do I take the minutes to myself? Do we get fun mom all summer long? (Who really isn’t fun mom because she is running on empty.)
We have a list of things the kids have to do before they can push a power button of any kind (tv, tablet, etc.). It includes things like making their bed and eating breakfast, doing a specific chore around the house, reading, things like that. But the day seems really long when all chores are done by 9am and they are ready to go. They come to me and ask, “what are we going to do today?”
I hear Billy Joel singing, “I am the entertainer…” but I don’t want to be the entertainer. I want them to entertain themselves and clean up after themselves and let me shower without being asked 5 different questions.
When did this happen, that we had to make summer over the top fun all the time. My mom didn’t do that for us. Sure, we did fun things. We had a pool and we played with our friends but there was also a list of things that needed to be done before we did anything else. My mom didn’t worry about whether we should go to the movie or the water park or what camp is better. She didn’t worry about having a friend over all the time to save us from boredom. Why do we?
Who wrote the rule that says everything about the summer has to be bucket list worthy? Probably the same person that came up with Pinterest. Don’t get me wrong – I love Pinterest and I love doing fun, special things with my kids, but all the time? All summer long? Who has the energy for that? And who has the budget for it?
(And if you are one of those Pinterest everything, bucket list loving moms, my hat goes off to you! If that is something you truly enjoy, I enjoy seeing all of your pictures on face place and insta. If that’s you, you can stop reading now. But if you are the mom who is doing all the things because you’re just trying to keep up, maybe you should keep reading.)
I guess what I’m saying is no. It’s ok if we stay home all day and do nothing out of the ordinary. I’m even going to say it is ok if we spend the day watching tv. It doesn’t happen often so it’s ok if we go with it. It’s ok if we eat cereal for 3 meals and stay in our pajamas. That’s allowed every once in a while.
I haven’t said these out loud or really even thought of them before now but I’m declaring these statements, my summer decree.
Here they are:
- Get the work done. Work is good for you. You’re going to need to know how to clean a toilet and do your laundry. Start practicing now.
- I’m going to work out a few days a week. It’s sanity for me. You are going to stay home and clean the toilets.
- We’re going to sit down and read for 30 minutes. Maybe not every day, but a lot of days. I like to read, too.
- I’m not the entertainer, Billy Joel is. Don’t ask me what to do because I will have you scrub baseboards.
- I love you but I am not required by law to take you to the movies or the water park. (But don’t worry, we’ll go plenty because I’ve already paid for it.)
- Play with your brother. Play with your sister. You don’t need a friend over all the time.
- I love you but I would love you more if you slept until 7:30am.
So, here’s to summer fellow moms. I think it is ok to admit that we may go crazy and we may lose it and we may fail. Shoot, we may make a paper chain to count down to the first day of school. It’s all ok. I’m not a Pinterest mom and I’m not a bucket list everything mom. I’m just a mom who really loves my kids but wants the best for everyone which means sanity time for me and learning to be a decent, hard working human for them.
Whatever camp you fall into, just do you. It’s what I tell my kids, too. Just do you- you’re not me and I’m not you. There is something incredibly beautiful about that. So, since you’re not me, what would be part of your summer decree? Some may be the same (because, great minds!) and some may be different (because duh, we’re different) but I’d love to hear them! Drop them in the comments so we can cheer each other on!
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